Spiritual love, a gift from the Father, tries hard to shake me free from the mother persona I’ve acquired on Earth. I am female, and a mother of five Earthlings. I trained myself over the course of many years to watch out for these little ones, to hover over them, helping, guiding, and loving them. In this process I gained knowledge of many fears as I struggled to keep my children safe.

I need to relieve myself of these fears, and yet I loathe to let go. I cling to the silly idea that somehow my fear will keep me from danger, and instead, the fear keeps me from total enlightenment.

The greatest fear, and the one I’ve had the hardest time letting go of, is the fear of death. How deeply ingrained has this fear been, to infiltrate my trust in the universe, to stab me with a sword of darkness? When did I receive this fear? When did I allow it in?

Fear of death does nothing for me. It only keeps me from oneness with the Divine Light.

It is a fact that my existence here on Earth (I like to call it Terra) is simply a gift of the Divine Will. If Divine Will didn’t want me here, I could be eliminated in an instant.

The fact that you are still breathing means that there’s still a reason for you to be here. There is nothing to be afraid about. We all exist on the basis of Divine Grace.

I have done terrible things in this lifetime, for which I am deeply regretful and for which my spirit sighs with sorrow. Those things were done out of ignorance. I was not aligned properly with Divine Spirit. I did not know the consequences of my ignorant actions. I beg for forgiveness and know the most difficult forgiveness must come from my inner self.

I asked Divine Light for reasons why I’m still alive. Here’s what I was told.
Reason #1 - You are beautiful.
Reason #2 - We need you. You are a beautiful part of what is.

That’s all I was told. I guess I was hoping for some kind of precognition of some great benefit I’d give humanity in the future. I didn’t get that. I just got Divine Love and Acceptance. For this, I am grateful. I know I don’t deserve to be here. But Divine Grace sustains and keeps me here anyhow. Gratitude is the only realistic response.

Can you relate?

Today’s affirmation: “I am patient and focused and always get everything done quickly and efficiently.”

Write it on an index card to place in front of your monitor. Read it ten times with feeling and gratitude. Repeat throughout the day.

Patricia Singleton started her blog, Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker, only last month, but already makes an impact with soulful biographical memoirs and a collection of inspiring posts encouraging forgiveness, honesty, and gratitude. As I read through the entire blog last night, starting with the first post and ending with the most recent, I repeatedly saw parallels between her experience of life and mine.

For example, she wrote about her Past Life Experiences but reserved judgment, writing, “I know that not everybody believes in past lives. I wasn’t sure myself for a long time.” It sounded like something I’d say. I’m interested in this phenomena and have written of my own experiences with it, but am cautious and temper my enthusiasm with a bit of old fashioned skepticism.

Also, Patricia had name issues. For a long time she rejected her childhood name, ‘Patricia’, preferring to be called ‘Pat’. That reminded me so much of what I’ve gone through with my name. I never liked my full name, Linda Jo Martin. And for a while I changed my name to something totally different - both first name and last. I even had my driver’s license changed. My father was devastated because he had named me. Then a few years ago I had a change of heart. I changed my name back to my birth name legally, and even decided to use my full name on my professional writing website, dreaded middle name included.

Patricia’s reasons for changing names are different than mine were, and she wasn’t quite as radical in her change, but when she wrote of this name issue in her blog, in her post, What’s In A Name? - it was done with passion and a determination to get the facts out in the open. I was impressed and reminded of my own name journey. At the end of the article she invites us to call her Patricia - which I found touching, and it made me feel like a part of her spiritual family. So there’s another reason I felt synchronicity with my own experiences while reading her blog.

I also identified strongly with Patricia’s posting on Forgiveness, Done In Layers. She talks about accessing anger, and releasing it. As different aspects of the anger surface, the release needs to be done again and again. I found her explanation of the process of forgiveness to be accurate and insightful.

I count myself fortunate that I’ve met Patricia and connected with her group of lightworkers online (see her blogroll!) . . . I met her this week at Chris Garrett’s new message board, Authority Blogger. Thank you Chris, for providing the opportunity for bloggers to connect.

Patricia had a difficult early life. Her blog tells the story of her childhood, and how she overcame adversity, embraced forgiveness, and became aware of her status as a lightworker, here to teach and heal humanity. It is a rocky path many of us walk upon to reach a place of understanding wherein we can help others effectively. Patricia is one of those whose road led from treachery to truth, from misery to maturity. This is definitely a blog worth reading. I’ve subscribed to her emails so I won’t have to miss another episode. Long live this blog! . . . and may the light of this lightworker be known to many.

The link: Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker by Patricia Singleton.